Recently a fellow mom was venting about how little time she had after work as she was busily doing household chores – particularly laundry. This conversation made me grateful for an epiphany I had many years ago.
Let me tell you about it in today’s reflection.
It was a day many years ago when one too many people in my household had not been able to find something in the laundry. I had a Moment. Yep – a Moment with a capital M. One of those Moments where I snap and say no, no, no, no, no, absolutely no more. One of those “when did I become the keeper of everyone’s freaking clothing” moments. It was entirely on me.
I had created this laundry system monster. I took on the task when my kids were babies and never let it go.
There were many good reasons:
- the kids’ laundry loads were small I was being environmentally conscious
- it was a nice way to be helpful and show how I care about them,
- the kids were too young to know how to do it themselves,
- it was easier to just do it all myself….. lots of reasons.
Yes this laundry monster was entirely my own creation. The truth was that doing laundry did not bring me joy (understatement of the century ;). It was a chore that I tackled from the “have to get it done” list. That changed in my big Moment. I promptly gave a 1 month notice and resigned from the laundry position. The girls were still young (I think Caitlyn was maybe 7 years old) but she was old enough to learn to sort her laundry, operate the machines, and put away her finished items. With a little supervision they were on their way, and I have not done their laundry since.
I created a system where each person had their own laundry baskets and laid out the laundry room family protocols. One key rule was that laundry should start and finish in the same day to make room for the next person. Yes – assembly line anecdotes were quoted! Clothes left in the dryer or hanging on the rack for more then 3 days would not be tolerated. Etc. etc. etc. There were hiccups but it worked.
It was an exceptional decision in our home for me (the laundry hater)!! At the time Dave traveled a lot for his career and I carried the load of the household responsibilities – single parenting it much of the time. Juggling that with being an entrepreneur was a handful. Every second of the day was accounted for! I removed a chore that most certainly did not bring a smile to my face. Instead, I enjoyed teaching a newfound life skill and had fun watching them learn and grow. They did a great job!
Looking back I realize that this was a valuable lesson for myself. Instead of being grumpy because I was doing something I really did not want to do, I looked at it from a different perspective and empowered my family. I believe that as parents we can get wrapped up in the “busyness” of the days and end up forgetting a parenting goal. That goal is to raise independent people who are fully functional; able to survive and thrive when we release them into the wilds of society as grown ups. In our household that lesson began in the laundry room.